Day 24 - 29 The rollercoaster that is life 🎢 🙃
Day 24 - 87 miles
The ride of my life......
So today I’d booked a YHA ahead which google said was 60 miles, achievable as I’ve already done one 60 mile ride. I have a lovely day pottering and exploring and then at 4pm I sit down to eat at a pub as hadn’t eaten since breaky. My garmin says I’ve done 42 miles so I was thinking I’d just have another 18 ish to go. Well f**k me, nope 44 miles to go!!!!! Sometimes I hate google maps!! It had taken me the day to do the 42! I’d have to get there by the 9pm check in and at this point my food hasn’t arrived. So do I call it quits and cancel the hostel...... nope, let’s rise/ride to the challenge, knowing if there is any way I can make it I will!!! #determinationanddrive
Food wolfed down and I set off, the first 22 miles I flew, thankfully it was flat and I just fully focused on my pace and reciting the mantra ‘I am strong and capable’ I really amazed myself at the pace I consistently kept up!!!
So 22 miles to go and the hills start, I am facing a very long drawn out one, I pull over, eat a banana, put my lights on as it’s overcast and get my earphones in and music blaring for motivation, I knew I was going to have to dig deep!
21 miles to go and my back break cable snaps, yikes, this slows progress as if my front did the same on a downhill at best I’d go into a hedge and worst a car!
20 miles and it starts to rain, no time for waterproofs to go on so I keep going, aware that safety is now also a massive focus.
20 down to 10 miles, I high five ✋🏻 the universe every mile for each achievement, its a challenge but it feels good. 💪🏻😊
By 10 miles I know I’m going to make it and I’m buzzing ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ I need no additional encouragement, I’m flying. 🌈🚴🏼♀️🚴🏼♀️🚴🏼♀️🚴🏼♀️
I had achieved more then I thought I was capable of that day!!!!!
This is why I love it when plans don’t go to plan as this is when the magic happens. Like today but also in life. 💫✨
Had my once life plan not got blown apart 🧨 I wouldn’t of been here doing this and this day was quite simply one of the best days of my life. I felt elated on reaching the YHA. 🤩💪🏻🥳
So........as so often in life, a massive high, is followed by a subsequent low, come down......
Day 25 - 25 miles
Pain & Exhaustion
So I lightly plan for a 50 mile ride and set off...
Ouch, ouch, ouch......at this point I don‘t care and you can know the knitty gritty, I have had piles for a couple of weeks and now after yesterday they are excruciating!!!!!!!!! 😱🤢😥
The ride is hilly and challenging, it’s windy and I’m tired. 21 miles in I break and cry a lot, I’m spent.
This was me still looking good, just before the tears set in. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was absolutely f**ked!!!
I was so disappointed that yesterday I rose to the challenge and today I conceded I needed to call time. Thankfully there was a hostel 4 miles aware and headed there and went splat!
Day 26 - 38.2 miles
I love Friends!!! 💚🌈💜
I am struggling still, more tears as it’s just so painful. 😥
My focus for the day is just get to Ruths, a friend I’m really looking for to spending the night with.
Its a long day as the pain really slows me down and it’s also windy but I am so happy at the point I glimpse Ruth up ahead dressed vibrantly to match her colourful personality.
We hug, I’m so happy, a hug from a friend makes my soul Happy. 😃🙏🏻
I have the most lovely evening in Ruths company, eating a delicious dinner and then the real treat of having a bath!
Day 27 - Day off
Doubt kicks in!
Tooooooo much pain, I feel sick and tearful. 🤢😥
Ruth has kindly said I could stay longer and so I decided to take a much needed day off.
I read, relax and explore, we go to a beautiful gardens, watched the local carnival and chatted the night away with wine and tea.
It was so lovely to have be able to be in such relaxed company. 💕
Throughout this day there is a nagging doubt, how can I ride the TD when I’m wondering how I can get back on the bike as it hurts so much. 😱
Day 28 - 30 miles
Its still there and not going away.
The questions come and go.....
What am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
Can I do this?
Day 29 - 31.2
Now I have been well aware that I’m living out a pattern that repeats so often in life.
We put in effort and hit a high and then come crashing down.
I recognise this pattern and know I just need to ride it out.
Today I allow my self to sit with the idea of quitting, I’ve already achieved massive amounts and changed so much, do I need to keep pushing myself!?
The thing is I’m well aware of the change curve and it’s been in my mind that last few days.
I know where I‘m at and I know that I don’t want to quit.
I’ve done the Stage 1 - Uninformed Optimism
I knew I was taking on a crazy challenge that I was aware of but not the reality of it all.
I’ve been doing Stage 2 - Informed Pessimism
This UK training run has really highlighted the reality of what I am taking on mentally and physically, it’s been a massive awakening. I’ve had to realise I have limitations, due to the time frame as I’ve decided I’m doing it this year and also limitations in my health and fitness ability.
Then I hit the ’Checking Out’ point - I knew this was what it was and the importance of recognising it and seeing what I needed to do to propel myself forward. Yes I know it’s an option to check out but I don’t want to and so this is where the digging deep and accepting the reality of it all is so important. It’s through acceptance that resistance goes and the next stage kicks in.....
Stage 3 - Hopeful Realism
So the wobble was embraced and now I can move forward fully committed to ‘Riding the Divide‘ in whatever way I need to, in order to complete it. The experience will be amazing no matter how long it takes me and the outcome will come from the doing. Taking each day at a time, even each hill and each pedal push.
This is the ‘Ride of my Life‘ and I’m loving every step and stage.
’Being Present’ is about embracing it all, the good the bad and the ugly.
This week has been amazing, so many memories made, so many personal challenges overcome, breaking through boundaries and facing pain and exhaustion.
I wouldn’t of wanted this week to of been any different, it’s building my character and inner strength, this whole process is about investing in me and creating my best version. Me without fears, so I can just enjoy the wonderful we live in.
At this point I want to thank everyone who has made my journey possible and I don’t just mean in the here and now, I mean everyone who has impacted my life to get me to this point.
friends and more friends....
You all enable me to tread my path in life and face my challenges, you make my happiest times happier and brighten the darkest hours.
Thank You Forever!!
My family, I couldn’t be here without your support, thank you. 💕
To each and every interaction I have had positive or negative, so many lessons I have learnt, wether from longterm relationships or from a 10 minute conversation with a open person who crosses my path. So many teachers in this world. 😊
A massive thumbs up to you all, my massive energy network that just keeps growing, I only hope I can lift and inspire people as much as they do me.🥰
Now for couple of days off now, time to enjoy my successes so far, allow my muscles to grow and more importantly learn about witches!!!!
Love and energy to all 🥰💫😘